The Wrong Decision

photo credit: Mr. Amari Soul (author of Reflections Of  A Man)

I was browsing the news feed on my Facebook account and was able to read across a statement by Mr. Amari Soul:

"Sometimes, him being the wrong man isn't the real problem. The real problem is you deciding to give him a chance, knowing he's the wrong man, thinking you can change him."

We, ladies have this tendency to fall over our emotions with the assumption that we can change the person.

We know from the first start that if we pursue the relationship, it would later go the wrong way. But when emotions have already swayed us, who can stop us?

Jeremiah 17:9 clearly says that

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

It really pays to adhere wisdom over our emotions since our relationships could either build us up or tear us down. We are told to guard our hearts for it determine the course of our lives. (Proverbs 3:4)

:)

What Was 2015 for Khatt

December 26, 2015 @SM City Davao

A Fictional Interview

Jerry, my annoying friend caught me gazing upon the wonders of Chocolate Hills in Bohol. I was into deep thinking that I didn't notice him from behind. I was even startled to hear him speaking without a clue.

"You seemed to be so happy and you looked different from the previous years. Would you mind telling us what was 2015 for you?"

"Hoy, ano na naman to?" (Hey, what's this again?) 

"Just answer."

He seemed to be so determined that it was hard for me to divert his attention.

"It's not even 2016 yet."

"In few hours it will be."

"Are you serious about this? Better go in and amuse yourself."

I was trying to drive him away but he was immovable.

"I will stop bothering you once I get answers."

I looked at him and began laughing so hard 'til it became awkward.

"Are you really gonna give me that kind of look?" I became conscious. His face was very serious.

"What's this about, Jerry?"

He began pulling out...a tape recorder?

I gave him an astonish look.

"I am featuring something for my blog and after weeks of thinking what will it be, I finally came up with something different. I'll be featuring you." He smiled like an innocent child.

"No way!" Then I began walking away.

He kept on tailing me wherever I go that it became so annoying that I finally gave in.

"Alright!!!!" I shouted so loud that he hushed me into silence. 

"Okay, here's a drink. I know it's kinda weird, funny, awkward, or whatever it is. But I will really thank you for doing this. This is important for me. You see, blogging is my life. It may sound crazy for you but bare with me this time."

To make the long story short, here is the result of the interview:

What was 2015 for Khatt?

Ano nga ba? (What was it?) A lot did happened that year. It was an all-in-one package. From love-life, ministry, obedience to God, giving-up, growing up into maturity, growing up emotionally and spiritually, character chastening...the list goes on. Ang dami para e-mention. (They're too many to mention)

Love life. What happened?

I had this love-relationship (though it started a year before) that eventually ended too soon. I thought he was the one.

Lessons learned from the relationship?

Never rush into having one. Get wisdom. Adhering to emotions will get you wrong. Pray and wait for answers even if it would take you so long. Know the person. Don't assume. Better be careful than sorry. :)

Is there any positive thing it brought you?

Of course, there is. I was able to shift from my idealistic thinking into a realistic one. I was too idealistic before. I can now relate to people who has gone through relationships and break-ups. I was able to learn and grow as a person.

Spiritual Growth, Ministry. Can you tell us how it has been?

Hmmm...okay. I was able to handle a Victory Group (cell group) that year and it made a difference in my life. I was a reluctant leader. I can just be a member and expect me to attend, to support all the way. It was easy and convenient for me. I can just be there, listen, learn all I can and enjoy. But I guess the Lord has different plans. I was able to step out from my comfort zone and began sharing my life openly. I struggled at first and couldn't figure out what to do. I began to really rely onto God---what He wants me to do, to say. How He wants me to lead, to listen, to obey, to adhere. Many times I would pause and say, "God, what am I gonna do?" Especially those times when I'm not okay emotionally. I sought God and He never failed me. You cannot lead people effectively without being led by God first.

I learned that obedience is the key to spiritual growth. You read the Scripture and do what it says even if it's very uncomfortable. You submit to His Lordship in all aspects. Whatever hinders you from growing, He prunes. The more you disobey, the more it hurts.

I enjoyed my journey with God that year.

What's your secret of being happy?

I let go of the past and focus on Jesus. I came to a point of being overwhelmed with what's happening around me. Delayed salary, had my heart broken, unsatisfied with my job, having no one to turn to, feeling alone, etc. I felt like everything's messed up with my life that I asked God what to do and told me to focus on Him. It was a very timely answer. Every day, I remind my self that I live for Him. I will never get lost again if my eyes are fixed on Him.

:)   :)   :)

Jerry ended questioning me with a wide smile like that of a yahoo messenger. Thank God he's not gonna bother me anymore. :)

THANK YOU, LORD FOR 2015! 

October 2014 Update

I've been serving 5 months now in my job. I felt like everything happened too fast--from being a part of the Administrative Section (for 4 months) into becoming a part of the Member Services Section (just recently) particularly E-Center where Employer-Employee contributions and Loan Repayments are being handled.

At first I was surprised of the sudden reshuffling because it happened without me seeing it coming 'till I finally realized it was an answered prayer. I remember praying about being transferred into another section to understand more and immerse myself with how the company works as a government organization. Partly, I was perplexed...perplexed because the reason of my transfer might be the result of a joke I blurted out at my supervisor where she wasn't aware that it was just a joke. But the heads explained to me everything and I felt assured. I knew and I am sure that everything happens according to God's plans. Whatever His plans are, I am certain that  I'm secured (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lately, I've been asking God on what my calling is. I'm turned between becoming a sender and a goer. But being a sender weighs more as I assess the path I'm taking and the desires I have. I could vividly remember I chose to become a sender way back taking a mission course during my college years. The second thing is to become a pastor. But this second choice of mine was being set aside due to my own late perspective that a man should be the one who leads over the flock.

I'm currently working on venturing a business that I am excited about. I've been thinking of its success as early as now and of all the businesses I've embarked before, this one's different. Different in the sense that for many months I've been quietly asking, studying and assessing myself and people on what are their concerns this time. I've also assessed what niche I'd be serving. I'm praying and excited for the outcome of this one.

What else to share about? Hmmm...lovelife? To those who've asked if I'm truly engaged...hahah! Engaged with a man? Not yet. I'm engaged into something else. Engaged to God, to my work, and my soon-to-be business. Another truth to share about this area is, God has spoken to me that He will give me the man that's for me. I will just delight in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). This promise of Him assured me that my prince would come sooner than what we call soon. Hahahhahah!

As to my beauty secret, I will soon reveal. So keep posted! Love lots!

-km-

What About Work??

Yes, I haven't written in awhile and now I'm writing once again. Many things did happened in my life for the past few weeks. I've had tough moments but great moments prevailed in my memory--things I could really thank God for. He has been my source of strength and joy each day.

Many times I feel tired and stressed at work that I tend to entertain negative thoughts such as quitting from the job. But every time those thoughts are getting in, I am reminded on how blessed I am to have this job. The people around me are source of encouragement to me. They are the top reason on why I can't imagine leaving my job.

I find my workplace a family. A big one. Before, this was just a dream...but now, it's a dream come true!

Reader, you might feel stressed over your work too. But before entertaining "quitting thoughts," think on how blessed you are for having the job you have now. :-) If you feel burned out each day, pray over it and ask for God's wisdom. If you don't like your superior or co-worker, pray for him/her or pray about your attitude towards him/her. You'll then be surprised on how God has worked over your heart and mind.

God bless everyone! It's great to be grateful for the blessings we receive everyday.

Counting The Blessings

I haven't written yesterday due to extreme tiredness. I went flat on my bed without worrying about preparations for tomorrow.

But now...well, I have to resume writing. I can't dare to rest without sharing how God is great and awesome to my life this day. Everyday, there's no enough room to store all the blessings He has given. Even the ability to wake up is already a blessing.

There's no reason to be ungrateful each day. There are lots of things to thank for if we'll just assess our day. Yes, there might be disappointments at work, with people, or even with ourselves but it doesn't eradicate the fact that we are still blessed. "Count the blessing, not what's missing" is a common adage. Why don't we apply it?

To be grateful is a choice. To count the blessings each day is a choice too! It will always be up to you on how you handle yourself each day.

Why am I saying all of these? It's because...this is one of the many things that God wanted me to realize. Few months ago, I was very concerned of the things I really need. I think at some point, each of us can relate. What happened was, I became ungrateful and unaware of the blessings each day. I became so focused of getting what I need. I prayed harder and harder and harder. And I became impatient as I wait on God. To me, everyday was just like yesterday--just a common day.

I didn't know that God was working on me. How would I know anyway? What I only knew was I always include in my prayers that God would change me. That God would mold me...would make me become the woman that He wanted me to be. And mind you, you wouldn't know that God has already began His doing until you realize you become somebody you were not before!

Amazing right? God is full of surprises! Even today. I am amazed on how He provides. I feel so blessed as I notice the blessings I am receiving. To mention two of the many blessings I receive today, are food and fare. Food...God knows how good my appetite is. That I am fond of eating. I received a free Sugared Fried Banana, two Hamburgers, and two Teas. (By the way, I did not ate them all. I can't eat them all so I shared them to few people) And when I went home, (I ride twice to reach home) an office mate and a neighbor paid for my fare. (I did not ask them to. If you would ask.)

Well, those might be "simple blessings" if you'd say. But those are blessings. I choose to be grateful each day despite all the hassle and struggle at work. I choose to be happy, I choose to smile...'cause it lightens the heart. It also attracts people. I believe that a smile is contagious.

We cannot change the world...but we can change ourselves. And changing ourselves can be perfectly done by our Dear Lord.

Have a great day ahead!

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Not Just Reading

I had a great and awesome day today that I don't know how to express and contain God's goodness and greatness in my life. Truly when you've laid down all your burdens to the Lord, you feel so calm, assured, and blessed.

I just had an awesome conversation with my friend--Rosaflor that went from few minutes to four and a half hours! How can you contain that??!! We were catching up with each other's lives and ended up praising God for all the things He had done to each of us. 

We talked about God's grace, knowing God's will (which includes never assume what the will of God is) and sharing my testimony on how God changed me inside and out. We also talked about the importance of prayer and reading the Word of God. We discussed matters that talks about breaking the bondage of law in a christian life.

We are all prone to temptations and sin that it would be impossible to conquer our daily battle without God's power. God's power comes from His very own Words. And His Word is essential to combat and win our daily battle.

We might hear countless times on how essential it is to read His Word and to live out His Word. But true as it may seem, we don't always adhere that. Why is that so? Because our own efforts fail us. We need His grace each day to live out the christian life. Even though how knowledgeable we might be with the Word of God, without practice, it's useless. 

I'm not saying I perfectly obey His Word, or, that I diligently read His Word without fail, but I always ask God to fill me each day. I never wanted to just read His Word, but by the enabling grace of God, I eat it, digest it and put it in my heart. At times when temptation arises and is creeping in, I am always reminded of His Words. When I follow His Word, I conquer. But when I don't, I lose.

I'm just like you. A normal human being, capable of sinning and losing the right way. That is why I always come to a point of laying every burden to the Lord, praying to Him, being true to Him and then I wait on what He will do. No matter how talented, capable, skillful, or confident I am, these things are nothing compared to God's. My self I can never totally depend. So I'll depend on Him.

(c) google images

Waking Up Afreshed

(c) google images

I woke up with a hopeful heart after yesterday's struggle from work. It pays off laying down all your burdens to the Lord--my first and only resort in times of trouble. My eyes bloated from last night's cry-out (I am a crying baby despite how independent and confident I am).

My work demands more of my time and ability. How clueless I am to pray for a certain type of work that I know nothing about! Since I am a persistent daughter when it comes to praying, the Lord would always hear me and grant my prayers. So, I got this job!

Despite the struggle I am facing right now, I am thankful that He granted my request. For I was able to become more of what I thought I am. I was able to communicate well with co-workers, relate to them, encourage, and put a smile on their faces. I am able to learn my job though still struggling to meet all the work demands.

Upon waking up, I was having the feeling of a fulfilled future love-relationship. It's been years already that I've been praying to meet the one I am able to relate with, and be with forever. Sounds like day dreaming! But I am not. Truly I felt we're going to meet the soonest! I believe in my prayers. I believe God would answer.

To ignite the positive feeling, I browsed for a love story and came across reading a blog that truly inspired my heart. I could say that though this world may seem complicated and extreme, you can still find the one who's for you that will love you unconditionally, pursue you, and accept you for who you are.

Sounds exciting! And I'm about to improve my self and my life in the next few days. So while waiting, I'm improving!